Lately I’ve been mixed up in this messed state of mind, with these feelings upon feelings that stop me reaching my prime.
They’ve got me tangled in vines, cause every issue I find is from these voices that say: “don’t try hard, just cruise through… if it sucks it aint that bad cause there’s nothing that you could do.”
Oh wait yes there is, you could do quite a lot, you could try for once at anything and help serve the plot.
Maybe then you’ll succeed but you’re afraid to lose, afraid that your best wont be good enough so you start to muse - you trick yourself into thinking that your average is the best of you.
Nothing could be further from the truth, nothing but the bare min would or could possibly ever do, from this betty sue, have I missed my cue?
Maybe if I bought myself some better shoes it would stop this abuse to my brain, because they just keep sayin’: “you tried hard once and you still failed.” Got that rejection letter in the mail, so now when anything comes along you think to bail. Then you reconsider and think “nah okay I’ll do it still” but when it comes to putting in any effort nah man you never will!
Cause you had to pick your second choice, never finding your voice to answer why am I hearing this noise?
Why am I killing these boys?
Playing with toys I don’t understand…
But you better get it man, cause if your best failed once then what’s the point?
Well cause now your best won’t be at that same point it was before, nah man it will be hella more.
Raising the scale, giving those bad thoughts a veil, it took Mum to tell you it’s all right to fail.
Cause those are the times where we pick ourselves up and we learn to sail on through into deeper waters, raising sons and daughters, making slaughters of these voices in my mind - it should be a crime to not reach your potential!
And let these sour thoughts halt your essential positive state of mind and attitude, the one that raised you, that said you could do or be anything that you set your mind to, wanted to, “I believe in you,” that’s you Mum that’s what you do.
You’re the voices in my head that were pushed out through an ego drenched song or two.
See over in the place of Perth where I was not born but raised…
Where I served on this planet for most of my sighing days.
Many years ago we came here and I was raised slow, taught to appreciate the little things and never ever let them go.
Manners make a man and women yeah I know that’s what you said, first and most important lesson you taught me I will not forget, till I’m dead.
Every night you’d tuck me in say “good night son rest your sleepy head.”
In my bed you’d sing that song to me, it was a simple song, not very long…
Although it was never wrong in my eyes, no surprise, why would I lie?
Don’t be shy – no need to cry!
Always put me in the right mood.
Always calmed me down when I was feeling sad or in a bad mood.
“Hush now don’t you cry,” Mummy’s here to help you, this song here is sweet and low mad flow, got your ears on the edge waiting for me to show… what I’ve got to give, all I’ve got to give like you say I can.
You would say “Sam everything I do is for you!”
You never said it but I know you’d throw yourself under a bus just to see it through, which at first was a concept I found hard to grasp but now I see it more as this incomprehensible task, a mask that you wear, that is rare, try not to stare…
Most loving person I’ve ever met, you must of got it from grandpa bear.
The Irish jingles I can hardly bare, but you love them…
Because they make you think of him, whenever your thoughts lead you astray or you start missing him.
One day I’m sure I will brand a similar thing to you, my next of kin, that my kids then wont understand and they’ll ask “why” and I’ll just reply with “this one’s for your grandma bear.”
Maybe the same old lullaby and nothing new, nothing else would or could possibly ever do…
Or have the same effect, catch me in your love net, that net of love from up above, on any day, got a lot to say, free of charge no need to pay!
Sung in your sweet old South African Irish way.
So maybe then I should think ahead, start to pray and record you so I can store it far away.
Cause one day I know ill wish you were here to sing that song to me today.
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