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Still Hiding

by Boykie

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1.
When you get older, what do you see? Do you see people… being who they want to be? Well not me. And it might sound simple, but it takes longer than you’d think. Like right now; I wanna be this guy who’s not just on time but early and maximize the possibility of my learning. Please... Sam not another story, NOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!? I didn’t have a shower today. I dissed my breakfast today ay ay ay! I didn’t have a shower today, and now I’m not feeling so great. You should know that now, you should know better now. Nah you should know that now, oh I think I get it now – NAH PLEASE FORGET IT NOW! Oh I can feel it. No I can feel it, tomorrow’s the day. Well there goes three more… I feel like I can’t quite shift my thinking, yeah that’s what I’m feeling… cause every time I try I just start sinking, into my same old ways. And if there’s anyone like that, who feels like that, today, in that same old way… ah well then I pray. And I don’t pray but I hope that you stray from that line you’re walkin’, you don’t stop talkn’, just listen for your name to stop the pain you’ve been stalkin.’ I didn’t have a shower today, I dissed my breakfast today ay ay ay. I didn’t have a shower today, and now I’m not feeling so great. I didn’t have a shower today no oh oh, I dissed my breakfast NO OH OH! I didn’t have a shower today, and now I’m not feeling so great.
2.
Still Hiding 04:08
I don’t know what they want from me I’ve given all I can. How do I open up oh, when I thought I had? But you say you still want me. No you won’t. He doesn’t know what’s real; he won’t let himself be happy. And if this is all I am to you, well then someday soon I won’t be. No I won’t be, no I won’t be, no I won’t be I don’t know. No I don’t know anymore. Please just look at me baby, do you see what I see? Why would you want a fantasy, when I can make you happy? But you won’t see, and you don’t see, no you won’t and I don’t know. Nah you won’t, nah you won’t, nah you wo-oh-on’t. Nah you won’t, nah you won’t, nah you wo-oh-on’t. Wear your cap so mean, and banter you’re the queen. But inside he’s nothing but a piñata full of jellybeans. I don’t know what you want from me I’ve given all I can. You say; “You’re still hiding.” But I can’t tell if I am. He doesn’t know what’s real; he won’t let himself be happy. And if this is all I am to you – he likes to live in fantasy oh, but hoping someday soon he won’t be, and hoping someday soon I… Words are not my game, unless it’s on a page, unless it’s on a page now. Words are not my game, unless it’s on a page, but even then it’s quite difficult to gauge now. Nah you won’t, nah you won’t, nah you wo-oh-n’t.
3.
Jet-lagged 04:41
Tell me more about the future, tell me about your plans. And try to sit still for me baby, well I just wanna hold your hand. And tell me more about the future, tell me about the past, tell me about everything… and don’t ever leave my grasp. Oh she won’t forget it now. My soul I will give to you. You have… worn out my tired mind, oh and now, now that you have everything a ah won’t you… won't you please, please, please, please, please let my jet-lagged heart unwind, unwind. And tell me more about the future, nah tell me how soft are your hands? Everyone’s askin’: “how ya doin?” But no ones gonna know my plans, no ones gonna know my plans, no ones gonna know my plans. Oh She won’t forget it now. Today I might try something new, something never done before. Oh today I will give to you… the dust beneath the floor. So won’t you please, please, please, please, please ah give me something more. So won’t you please, please, please, please, please ah give me something more. My soul I will give to you, it runs down my dirty spine. Beneath the tiles lies my corpse babe, you had worn out my tired mind. You had worn out my tired mind, you had worn out my tired mind, you had worn.
4.
Mixed Up 03:50
Lately I’ve been mixed up in this messed up state of mind. With these feelin’s upon feelin’s that stop me reachin' my prime, they’ve got me tangled in vines. Cause every issue I fiiiiiiiiiind… Is from these voices that say don’t try hard just cruise through, if it sucks it ain’t that bad cause there’s nothing that you could do. Oh wait yes there is you could do quite a lot, ah you could try for once at anything and help serve the plot. And maybe then you’ll succeed but you’re afraid to lose, afraid that your best wont be good enough so you start to muse. You trick yourself into thinking that your average is the best of you. Nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing but the bare min… would or could possibly… ever do, toora loo. What a mess, nah that’s toora loora loo. Raising the scale, giving those bad thoughts a veil. It took Mum to tell you it’s all right to fail. Pick yourself up and learn to sail on through into deeper waters, raising sons and daughters, making slaughters of these voices in my mind. It should be a crime to not reach your potential and let these sour thoughts halt your essential positive state of mind and attitude, the one that raised you. That said you could do or be anything that you set your mind to. Through the roof I raised you, “love from your Mom” that’s toora loo. What a mess. Ah man what a mess! What a mess, nah that’s toora loora loo. Well I’m-a get that girl, yeah I’m-a get that gir-iwerr-l. Uh uh uuuh. Mamma I’m-a get that girl, yeah I’m-a get that gir-iwerrr-l. Nah man it’s toora loo. Nah man it’s toora looooooooooooo!! Banawawaaah! BANAWAWAH!! BANAWAAWAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! What a mess. Ah nah what a mess! What a mess, nah that’s toora loora loo. And I’ll just reply… with a siiiiiigh-igh-iiiigh. But this one’s for your grandma bear.
5.
Family Man 04:52
Come home… sit alone, wait for the verdict by the phone. Get sad… tell Dad that I’m thankful for all I’ve ever had. Grabbed Ma, sold your car, used the money to get real far. Sacrificed your life for your children and your wife. You are a part of me in everything that I do. You have a heart in me, that much is true. Banawana! So when you see that family man, hair full of rubber bands, I know. He tells you ‘bout his pretty plan, head buried in the sand, oh no. No jewels, indoor pools to pay for that private school. Can’t move, too much food, nobody could the kill the mood. You are a part of me in everything that I do. You have a heart in me and not just the souls of my shoes. So when you see that family man, hair full of rubber bands… I know. He tells you ‘bout his pretty plan, head buried in the sand… oh no. So next time you’re with your fam, staring at that Christmas ham to go. Just think about his pretty plan, OH AND try to give a damn and show. That’s your world and I’ll be living in mine. I learned from all you did, and how to do it differently for me this time. That's your world AND I'LL BE LIVING IN MINE! But you taught me how to live, and I’ll do everything that I can to give back to you sometime.
6.
Lately I’ve been mixed up in this messed state of mind, with these feelings upon feelings that stop me reaching my prime. They’ve got me tangled in vines, cause every issue I find is from these voices that say: “don’t try hard, just cruise through… if it sucks it aint that bad cause there’s nothing that you could do.” Oh wait yes there is, you could do quite a lot, you could try for once at anything and help serve the plot. Maybe then you’ll succeed but you’re afraid to lose, afraid that your best wont be good enough so you start to muse - you trick yourself into thinking that your average is the best of you. Nothing could be further from the truth, nothing but the bare min would or could possibly ever do, from this betty sue, have I missed my cue? Maybe if I bought myself some better shoes it would stop this abuse to my brain, because they just keep sayin’: “you tried hard once and you still failed.” Got that rejection letter in the mail, so now when anything comes along you think to bail. Then you reconsider and think “nah okay I’ll do it still” but when it comes to putting in any effort nah man you never will! Cause you had to pick your second choice, never finding your voice to answer why am I hearing this noise? Why am I killing these boys? Playing with toys I don’t understand… But you better get it man, cause if your best failed once then what’s the point? Well cause now your best won’t be at that same point it was before, nah man it will be hella more. Raising the scale, giving those bad thoughts a veil, it took Mum to tell you it’s all right to fail. Cause those are the times where we pick ourselves up and we learn to sail on through into deeper waters, raising sons and daughters, making slaughters of these voices in my mind - it should be a crime to not reach your potential! And let these sour thoughts halt your essential positive state of mind and attitude, the one that raised you, that said you could do or be anything that you set your mind to, wanted to, “I believe in you,” that’s you Mum that’s what you do. You’re the voices in my head that were pushed out through an ego drenched song or two. See over in the place of Perth where I was not born but raised… Where I served on this planet for most of my sighing days. Many years ago we came here and I was raised slow, taught to appreciate the little things and never ever let them go. Manners make a man and women yeah I know that’s what you said, first and most important lesson you taught me I will not forget, till I’m dead. Every night you’d tuck me in say “good night son rest your sleepy head.” In my bed you’d sing that song to me, it was a simple song, not very long… Although it was never wrong in my eyes, no surprise, why would I lie? Don’t be shy – no need to cry! Always put me in the right mood. Always calmed me down when I was feeling sad or in a bad mood. “Hush now don’t you cry,” Mummy’s here to help you, this song here is sweet and low mad flow, got your ears on the edge waiting for me to show… what I’ve got to give, all I’ve got to give like you say I can. You would say “Sam everything I do is for you!” You never said it but I know you’d throw yourself under a bus just to see it through, which at first was a concept I found hard to grasp but now I see it more as this incomprehensible task, a mask that you wear, that is rare, try not to stare… Most loving person I’ve ever met, you must of got it from grandpa bear. The Irish jingles I can hardly bare, but you love them… Because they make you think of him, whenever your thoughts lead you astray or you start missing him. One day I’m sure I will brand a similar thing to you, my next of kin, that my kids then wont understand and they’ll ask “why” and I’ll just reply with “this one’s for your grandma bear.” Maybe the same old lullaby and nothing new, nothing else would or could possibly ever do… Or have the same effect, catch me in your love net, that net of love from up above, on any day, got a lot to say, free of charge no need to pay! Sung in your sweet old South African Irish way. So maybe then I should think ahead, start to pray and record you so I can store it far away. Cause one day I know ill wish you were here to sing that song to me today.

about

This EP was recorded in Perth, Western Australia at Debaser Studios in 3 seperate studio sessions with Andy Lawson.

December 2015 - Still Hiding
January 2016 - Mixed Up, Jet-lagged & Family Man
July 2016 - I Didn't Have A Shower Today

Mixed by the WAM award winning Andy Lawson at Debaser Studios. Mastered by the Grammy award winning William Bowden at King Willy Sound.

credits

released April 15, 2017

Sam Stopforth - Vocals / Guitar
Ben French - Lead Guitar
Andrew Siffleet - Bass
Isaac Diamond - Drums

Chris Young - Slide Guitar on "Shower" & "Jet-lagged"
Daniel Harrison - Drums on "Still Hiding"

Single Artworks - Sam Stopforth
Album Artwork - Perry McLaughlan of Perrywinkle Photography
Additional edits - Adam McDowell of TheNotoriousDOWIncorporated

Thank you to my friends and family who have always shown their undying love and support, this EP is dedicated to Wayne Stopforth, Jocelyn Stopforth & Deon Elliott. I would not be here without you and I will never forget it.

Big ups to my Boykie OG's, for your generosity, genius and charm.

And thank you, for listening.

All Rights Reserved Boykie Music 2017 ©

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Boykie Perth, Australia

FLATTENING THE CURVE IN AN EXPONENTIAL WORLD.

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